Our Marriage Story

"The best Love is the kind that awakens the Soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the Fire in our Hearts & brings peace to our minds. That's what I hope to give you forever."

☽✣☾ Brave Heart ☽✣☾

​Although marriage is sought out to be one of the Great Rites of Passage of human existence, this journey of choosing to live life with another is not exactly for the faint of heart. It’s a massive decision of two people saying to one another “let’s do this thing called life together” with hopes that it allows each person to excel into their highest potential as individuals & as a couple. Every marriage story is unique & different, the challenges, the benefits, the dreams, the visions, the beliefs & the lifestyle varies depending on the two people who come together with a wish to craft existence as one unified team.
Neither Elah or myself were the kind of people who were dreaming all their lives about marriage. In fact, the whole thing blindsided us both. In the midst of sorting through the beauty that we co-created together & our substantial differences, we decided to open our relationship into the prospects of exploring polyamory. After being in a monogamous relationship already for two years where 13 months of it were hand-fasted (a commitment to stay together, no matter what during those 13 months), the opening & expansion did something to & for us.
With that new-found freedom & release of the grip on one another, it brought us closer & gave us some kind of eagle vision to realize that we could & wanted to actually go through the trials & lessons of life together.
Amidst the expansion of allowing other lovers to come into our field, Elah in his bravery & courage, out of nowhere got down on his knee & proposed. I think we were both in shock that this was happening, but some divine guidance within him was saying yes & undoubtedly, my reply was “of course!” It was wild, confusing, amazing, spontaneous & more than anything a risk that we were both willing to take to understand the love & potential that lived between us in a much deeper dimension of possibility. Neither of us knew much about marriage. Majority of marriages we had seen in the world were extremely dysfunctional or collapsed completely. But after experiencing the hand-fasting together, we had a good idea marriage may be a more glorified version of such commitment & devotion to show up beyond our whims of destruction. Something inside us kept whispering that we were going to do this idea of marriage in a new, different, & completely unique way, that perhaps we haven’t seen before. A way of relating & following traditions that only felt in alignment with our healing, becoming & Souls calling. We spent a few months into the engagement in total awe, also in disbelief with waves of cold feet, & simultaneously in tremendous excitement with an inner voice that kept saying “you got this!” ​​

☽✣☾ Yes to Life! ☽✣☾

For those who know Elah & I, as individuals & as a couple, would know that we can make big, life changing decisions quite quickly & radically. We decide, trust & go with our instincts as though something higher is guiding us. Of course, we ask A LOT of questions along the way, but we very rarely doubt our choices, decisions & direction once we embark upon them. We decided to begin our Wedding Ceremonies FOUR months after we were engaged! To us, there was no reason to wait around once we had already made the decision to say YES & go for it! Because in a way, there is nothing more painful than the silent suffering you experience when only giving half of yourself to something.
         The months leading up to the BIG days where you step in front of the altar of marriage & commit to sacred union with the Great Spirit & your family & friends as witnesses, so much comes up. All kinds of old-limiting beliefs. Challenging friends & circumstances that question your choice. The little voices of doubt that comes in when you’re about to radically shift your life for the better. And of course, differences between one another you never knew you had. It all surfaces.  Simultaneously, those difficult places are being balanced with immense excitement to have the gift of divine union in your life. New found support from loved ones which seems to comes out of nowhere. Plus, profound trust between the husband & wife to be, ignites from making such a massive life choice as co-creators of destiny.
         Needless to say, the song “Say YES to Life” which we wrote earlier that year & had been playing every week at our ceremonies definitely had quite a profound impact on both of us to listen, follow through & walk our talk. The message of this song is: Life is too meaningful to move through the world filled with a mediocre (excuse my language) half-ass attitude. Life is comprised of the decisions we make & indeed if something is worth doing its worth doing 100%. Up until the point of Elah’s proposal we were dedicating & choosing each other about 60-70%. Our lack of willingness & trust in each other was aching, deflating & slowly destroying us both. However, it is what lead us to explore polyamory, which then guided us to brave up, risk it all & go all in. This is where you would define heartache as Divine Perfection. As we both said yes to each other, what that meant was that we were going to go on the journey of discovering what it meant go show up to love & go all in 100%.
Whoa! What could happen with that dedication & momentum? What could we achieve? What would it feel like to show up to love at that level of totality?  We had to know.  We had to find out. If we ever lost each other without at least attempting to give our ALL we knew in our hearts that that would be our greatest mistake. ​

​☽✣☾ The Wedding Initiation Journey ☽✣☾

As most people know, Elah & I are ceremony people. We cherish the moments when we step in front of the Great Spirit & prioritize our communion with the great force of the Universe. Especially when we are anchoring a spiritual decree.  We sought to create the rituals & traditions authentic to what we needed in order to truly devote our life to one another. Together we decided that this journey of marriage was to be honored in many different layers so we chose to open a six month wedding journey. To have a holistic experience & dive into the school of committing to one another. Whilst give ourselves time to integrate each major step, rather than cramming it all into one day. So we chose six different auspicious dates to have a ceremony that honored the six different gateways of devotion we wanted to step through in order to set the template for our future together in the most nurturing, creative & transformational way.  

​As we endured this profound rite of passage, we discovered that giving ourselves spaciousness to integrate each little & big step was exactly what we needed. We felt it was best for us to fully integrate each code of the Divine Union frequency before we could truly absorb the depth of the next lesson to come. This is why we deliberately crafted a six month pilgrimage to honor each stage of our commitment. It was truly an unforgettable, life altering experience for both of us.
 
☽✣☾ HONORING SPIRITUAL DIMENSION On 7-7-17, our first Divine Union Ceremony was held in Bali with the high Priestess, Ida Resi, the Goddess of Water. This Balinese Blessing Ceremony was to open the gateways of our 6 month initiation portal. Stepping into our decision & generating forward movement as we released any fear & separation, preparing our systems to assimilate the frequency of Divine Union.    
 
☽✣☾ HONORING PHYSICAL DIMENSION On 8-8-17 our second ceremony was in Elah’s hometown Jewish temple honoring his father, family & lineage. This is where we grounded the reality of our decision by signing the official marriage documents. We called upon the guiding forces & opened ourselves up to the benevolent forces of the universe to support & guide us through our marriage.

☽✣☾ HONORING EMOTIONAL DIMENSION On 9-9-17 our third Ceremony was in Sedona, Arizona & was the BIG BANG, where we merged & united our two families to witness us coming together to become one. My blood brother Andrew officiated the wedding as we aligned our human & God selves to honor our commitment to stand beside one another with the rises & falls of the future to come. Needless to say sharing this with our  cherished blood & soul family of our lives there were many tears, emotional breakthroughs & family healing on deep levels..

☽✣☾ HONEYMOON TO FIJI We considered the marriage ceremony on 9-9 as the “official marriage,” which is the date we will celebrate our anniversary on & so naturally we went on a honeymoon afterwards. We took a few weeks to just be together, to take a break from serving the world, restructure our lives & integrate the first BIG half of the rites of passage whilst hopping islands & meditating around turquoise waters. The hard part was over & it felt as though it was all downhill from here.

☽✣☾ HONORING MENTAL DIMENSION On 10-10-17 our 4th Ceremony was in Thailand & was an intimate tradition between just Elah & I where we walked around a Labyrinth releasing & letting go of our old lives & opening ourselves up to what it means to live a life not just for ourselves, but for & with each other.

☽✣☾ HONORING NEW BEGINNINGS On 11-11-17 our 5th Ceremony was in Sedona, AZ. We returned to the land where we truly merged our lives together. Alone, Elah & I hiked up to the Kachina woman where we were married on 9-9, to give the Spirit of this land offerings & cast prayers & intentions for our lives together. This day felt like a DNA activation, honoring the new codes coming through as the masculine & feminine within us became one.
 
 ☽✣☾ HONORING CO-CREATION On 12-12-17 our final Ceremony was at the Grand Canyon & as we gazed like eagles out into the immaculate, expansive view we anchored our commitment to be Co-Creators of accomplishing our purposes in life together as partners. Simultaneously we closed the six month marriage portal & gave permission for all of the energies to integrate into our systems & lives.
 
The first two ceremonies were building the energy up for the BIG peak on 9-9-17, & the last three were very gentle ripple effects of making the celebration last. However, all of the ceremonies were completely necessary & every different part we honored was profound & offered us puzzle pieces to step into this Divine Union with no stones left unturned. It has seemed like this marriage portal was a rocket ship into the universe of infinite potential & possibilities for Elah & I. It feels wild that all of this: the proposal, engagement & six month wedding journey all happened within one year! It is quite astonishing what you can create & accomplish within one year’s time. Never again will I ever underestimate the power & beauty that one year can harvest!     

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7-7-17 in Bali

8-8-17 Lions Gate at the Temple

9-9-17 in Sedona @ Enchantment

11-11-17 in Sedona @ the Kachina Statue

10-10-17 in Thailand at True Nature

12-12-17 in Arizona @ the Grand Canyon

Honeymoon in Fiji Sept-Oct 2017

​☽✣☾ The Gift ☽✣☾

​As conscious co-creators of our own lives we acknowledge that by choosing one another we have signed up to have an accountability partner by our side. Holding & guiding us towards the greatest potential that awaits to be self-realized & actualized. By getting married, your problems or shadows do not just magically disappear, however, now you have a dedicated person standing by your side helping you triumph those challenges & stories. Someone to share each special moment of life with. Someone to witness grow & expand over time. Someone to hold you when things fall apart & reassure you everything is going to be ok. Someone driven to help you feel joy & pleasure in the places you have never allowed yourself. The list goes on.

It is paramount that each precious gift that comes with marriage (or any real relationship) is deeply cherish instead of taken for granted, which can be so easy to do when you spend so much time together. And perhaps the greatest gift you can share with your beloved who has chosen to stand by your side in such a profound way, is to see them fresh each new day & continue making the choice to continuously return deeper to love, especially when our heart wants to shield it the most. Most importantly, in times of laziness, confusion or forgetfulness, you behold a divine assignment to follow through with the vows you spoke to the heart & soul of the beloved on the day you devoted & believed in them & yourself the most.
Ironically, I am writing this on Valentine’s day, which I have now grown a deeper understanding & appreciate for. Of course, it is most wise to always honor & celebrate love EVERYDAY. However, when you are in a long-term relationship it is helpful to have signposts where you set all the stories aside & return to the core beauty of love & rejoice in your beloved. Which inevitably leads you into a new depth & dimension of your ability to feel, show & express loves true nature, which is generosity.

         Elah Ji, my greatest teacher of devotion in this lifetime. You provide me the opportunity to stop playing small & give me strength to illuminate my deepest truths & shadows to return them all to light. I stand by my vows to dedicate my life to honoring you through sweetness & kindness, by creating as much beauty in our reality as possible & encouraging you to rise into your greatness with excitement! I am committed to constantly releasing the past, so I can show up wholly in each present moment, & only through this can our future be radiant & boundless. I am with you to share the magic of moments, to soak up the sweetness of life, to be with you, devoted during the rocky times. To make it through to the other side, stronger, more in love & for sure more wise. I promise again & again as we walk this path of life to always “Say YES to Life!”
​
Thank you for reflecting back to me constantly the courage it takes to tend to love so powerfully, as though it is the most sacred flame that deserves great reverence. May we rise each day, fresh, cherishing each other in new creative, juicy ways. To witness this rocket ship explore the multiverse within us & outside of us. To experience an enlightening existence through divine co-creation & relationship. Together in the physical as long as our hearts decide. Forevermore, in the ethers, as our souls soar through all of time.
 
Tewa~
Amor.