"The best Love is the kind that awakens the Soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the Fire in our Hearts & brings peace to our minds. That's what I hope to give you forever."
☽✣☾ Brave Heart ☽✣☾
Although marriage is sought out to be one of the Great Rites of Passage of human existence, this journey of choosing to live life with another is not exactly for the faint of heart. It’s a massive decision of two people saying to one another “let’s do this thing called life together” with hopes that it allows each person to excel into their highest potential as individuals & as a couple. Every marriage story is unique & different, the challenges, the benefits, the dreams, the visions, the beliefs & the lifestyle varies depending on the two people who come together with a wish to craft existence as one unified team.
Neither Elah or myself were the kind of people who were dreaming all their lives about marriage. In fact, the whole thing blindsided us both. In the midst of sorting through the beauty that we co-created together & our substantial differences, we decided to open our relationship into the prospects of exploring polyamory. After being in a monogamous relationship already for two years where 13 months of it were hand-fasted (a commitment to stay together, no matter what during those 13 months), the opening & expansion did something to & for us.
With that new-found freedom & release of the grip on one another, it brought us closer & gave us some kind of eagle vision to realize that we could & wanted to actually go through the trials & lessons of life together.
Amidst the expansion of allowing other lovers to come into our field, Elah in his bravery & courage, out of nowhere got down on his knee & proposed. I think we were both in shock that this was happening, but some divine guidance within him was saying yes & undoubtedly, my reply was “of course!” It was wild, confusing, amazing, spontaneous & more than anything a risk that we were both willing to take to understand the love & potential that lived between us in a much deeper dimension of possibility. Neither of us knew much about marriage. Majority of marriages we had seen in the world were extremely dysfunctional or collapsed completely. But after experiencing the hand-fasting together, we had a good idea marriage may be a more glorified version of such commitment & devotion to show up beyond our whims of destruction. Something inside us kept whispering that we were going to do this idea of marriage in a new, different, & completely unique way, that perhaps we haven’t seen before. A way of relating & following traditions that only felt in alignment with our healing, becoming & Souls calling. We spent a few months into the engagement in total awe, also in disbelief with waves of cold feet, & simultaneously in tremendous excitement with an inner voice that kept saying “you got this!”
☽✣☾ Yes to Life! ☽✣☾
For those who know Elah & I, as individuals & as a couple, would know that we can make big, life changing decisions quite quickly & radically. We decide, trust & go with our instincts as though something higher is guiding us. Of course, we ask A LOT of questions along the way, but we very rarely doubt our choices, decisions & direction once we embark upon them. We decided to begin our Wedding Ceremonies FOUR months after we were engaged! To us, there was no reason to wait around once we had already made the decision to say YES & go for it! Because in a way, there is nothing more painful than the silent suffering you experience when only giving half of yourself to something.
The months leading up to the BIG days where you step in front of the altar of marriage & commit to sacred union with the Great Spirit & your family & friends as witnesses, so much comes up. All kinds of old-limiting beliefs. Challenging friends & circumstances that question your choice. The little voices of doubt that comes in when you’re about to radically shift your life for the better. And of course, differences between one another you never knew you had. It all surfaces. Simultaneously, those difficult places are being balanced with immense excitement to have the gift of divine union in your life. New found support from loved ones which seems to comes out of nowhere. Plus, profound trust between the husband & wife to be, ignites from making such a massive life choice as co-creators of destiny.
Needless to say, the song “Say YES to Life” which we wrote earlier that year & had been playing every week at our ceremonies definitely had quite a profound impact on both of us to listen, follow through & walk our talk. The message of this song is: Life is too meaningful to move through the world filled with a mediocre (excuse my language) half-ass attitude. Life is comprised of the decisions we make & indeed if something is worth doing its worth doing 100%. Up until the point of Elah’s proposal we were dedicating & choosing each other about 60-70%. Our lack of willingness & trust in each other was aching, deflating & slowly destroying us both. However, it is what lead us to explore polyamory, which then guided us to brave up, risk it all & go all in. This is where you would define heartache as Divine Perfection. As we both said yes to each other, what that meant was that we were going to go on the journey of discovering what it meant go show up to love & go all in 100%.
Whoa! What could happen with that dedication & momentum? What could we achieve? What would it feel like to show up to love at that level of totality? We had to know. We had to find out. If we ever lost each other without at least attempting to give our ALL we knew in our hearts that that would be our greatest mistake.